Being Alone vs. Doing Alone

I've been thinking lately about the difference between being alone and actually going out and Doing Things alone. And I've reached the conclusion that I'm doing one but not the other.

I always pride myself on how comfortable I feel with solitude. I spend most of my breaks at work reading by myself, I go on long walks alone pretty frequently, and so on. Solitude is one of my very favorite things about life, and I don't shy away from admitting that to others. But there's a big difference between doing things regularly associated with solitude like walking around and reading, and having more active experiences by yourself.

I went through a period in college where my tastes in music became a little eclectic and I could never find somebody to go with me to concerts. Or, rather, I never asked anyone to go with me because I already knew they weren't fans of those artists. At one point, I got tired of missing out on things just because there was nobody to go with me, and I made a goal to attend one concert by myself. It took a surprisingly long time to work up the courage to buy a ticket, but I finally did it and went to see Yann Tiersen at the Boston Royale. I was nervous on my way to the show, but by the time the opening band finished their set, I felt great. It felt so liberating to just enjoy myself without worrying about whether or not the person next to me was having a good time. Yann Tiersen was an especially good first choice because most of the concert was instrumental and I found the whole experience somewhat transcendent. I'm not sure I would have allowed myself those feelings if I'd gone with a friend.

After the high of that concert, I made a vow to go see more shows alone. The following summer, I went to see Patti Smith at Battery Park. It was one of the best shows of my life, and I also met some really interesting people I would not have spoken to if I hadn't been alone. Again, my experience was transcendent. It was my first Patti Smith concert in years and I felt like her energy and spirit and poetry recharged my soul. I went to see Patti by myself three or four times after that.

A couple of days ago, I asked myself when the last time I went to a concert alone was, and I was surprised to realize that it's been a really long time. I see Patti every year now (one of the benefits of living in NYC) and 2013 was no exception. But last December, for the first time, I went with a friend. She was the perfect person to see my favorite artist with and I had a great time, so no regrets there. But now I'm wondering why it's been so long since I've gone to an event by myself!

I want to be the kind of person who goes to events alone when she wants to and feels great about it. So I'm once again wondering where to start. I initially thought to go with concerts because that's what I did in college, but I'm actually at a place in life where I want to experience concerts with my friends. (Look at me being all social!) So I decided to go with movies. This really excites me because going to the movies is cheaper than attending a concert so I could potentially turn this into a semi-frequent habit. I could really become someone who goes to the movies a lot! I'm always ashamed of how rarely I go (I went twice in 2012 and once in 2013), so learning how to go alone sounds like a great way to make sure I get out there and see more stuff.

So, to make it official (and to make myself accountable): I hereby vow to go to the movies alone once a month for the next three months. Oh, and independent film screenings count too, of course.

I'm nervous but also excited!