March Reviews

Books

• Drown by Junot Diaz - Though I enjoyed all three of his books, I was more moved by this one and would probably call it my favorite. I found Diaz’s voice as refreshing and important as ever.
• White Girls by Hilton Als - Hilton Als’ writing is beautiful and challenging. I particularly loved the essays on Eminem, Flannery O’Connor and Michael Jackson.
• The Widow and the Parrot by Virginia Woolf - I found out that she'd written a children's book and obviously had to buy and read it immediately. It was cute.
• The Secret History by Donna Tartt - SO GOOD. So suspenseful and smart and wonderfully descriptive. Donna Tartt is a brilliant writer.
• Runaways Vol. 1: Pride and Joy by Brian K. Vaughan - I never read this kind of thing - it was a quick and fun little departure for me.

Movies

• Juno (2007) - I’d forgotten how funny this movie is! It was definitely time to watch it again. Oh, and it made me cry like three times, which was weird. Basically whenever Ellen Page was crying, I was crying.
• Sherlock Jr. (1924) - Watched this with my dad accompanied by some delicious Indian takeout. It was a fun evening - I missed Buster Keaton! I think it'd been 7 or 8 years since the last time I watched one of his movies.
• Dr. Strangelove (1964) - Brilliant. Somebody kick me for waiting until 2014 to watch it.
• The Red Balloon (1956) - Lovely French short. More heart wrenching than I thought it would be, too.

Theatre

• Mothers and Sons at the Golden Theatre - I laughed a lot and cried at the end. What more could I ask for? Tyne Daly was a joy to watch onstage. Read a great review here.

Art Events/Exhibits/etc.

• The Whitney Houston Biennial: I’m Every Woman - This was cool! Two of my friends were in this show that featured over 75 female artists. I’m glad I was able to go. You can read about it here.

Journalism/Essays/etc.

• “Outside the Box: Netflix and the future of television” by Ken Auletta for The New Yorker - An interesting read. I was particularly fascinated to learn about the math and statistics involved in figuring out what people want to watch.

• “Am I Black Enough for You?” by Retha Powers for The Rumpus - I just loved this.

• “Surviving a For-Profit School” by Stephen S. Mills for The Rumpus - I could have done without the fashion police stuff, but I still found this piece illuminating and so, so sad. The way these schools target the poorest and most disadvantaged people for recruitment is just sickening.

List of things

I failed at blogging more in March. I can't think of anything to write a whole entry about, but I decided I will post something anyway or die trying, dammit.

So, without further ado, here is a random list of life updates:

• Speaking of things I failed at, I did not go to the movies alone in March. I was just too busy! I will try really hard to go in April. It should be a little easier since I'll only be taking one class and not two. I do have to say, though, that recently I've become much more tempted by the idea of watching movies at home because my dad just got a new TV! It's our first flatscreen and it's big (for me anyway) and it connects to Netflix!
• I also failed at my Facebook ban (although I posted way less frequently, which is great). 
• I have officially paid my entire A-Camp tuition, as well as purchased my flights to and from California! Yaaay! Can't wait till May!
• This sort of segues into my next thing, which is that half of me is disappointed that I'm still living with my parents, but the other half is thrilled about what that means for my finances. I was able to pay for A Camp and my plane tickets out of my paychecks instead of charging them to a credit card. I also did the same for the tuition of the two classes I've been taking. I didn't even have to deduct anything from my savings! That being said, I do need to move out soon. 
• Speaking of which, my former roommate and close friend Steph announced she's most likely moving to NYC in July, and asked if I wanted to live with her again. There's a very good chance that'll happen. It would be so freaking great.
• I've been keeping up with my Booktube channel (I've posted 9 videos so far), and I'm really happy about it. I feel like I improve a little bit with each new video, both at articulating my thoughts and at editing/producing quality videos. I can't believe I already have 115 subscribers! 
• Solely because of Booktube, I have once again become completely addicted to Twitter. I did not see that coming at all but I'm happy about it, because that's really where the making of Booktube friends happens!
• I have another week in May off and am having trouble figuring it out what to do with it.

And that was my list. I will hopefully write again soon. Fingers crossed.

Being Alone vs. Doing Alone

I've been thinking lately about the difference between being alone and actually going out and Doing Things alone. And I've reached the conclusion that I'm doing one but not the other.

I always pride myself on how comfortable I feel with solitude. I spend most of my breaks at work reading by myself, I go on long walks alone pretty frequently, and so on. Solitude is one of my very favorite things about life, and I don't shy away from admitting that to others. But there's a big difference between doing things regularly associated with solitude like walking around and reading, and having more active experiences by yourself.

I went through a period in college where my tastes in music became a little eclectic and I could never find somebody to go with me to concerts. Or, rather, I never asked anyone to go with me because I already knew they weren't fans of those artists. At one point, I got tired of missing out on things just because there was nobody to go with me, and I made a goal to attend one concert by myself. It took a surprisingly long time to work up the courage to buy a ticket, but I finally did it and went to see Yann Tiersen at the Boston Royale. I was nervous on my way to the show, but by the time the opening band finished their set, I felt great. It felt so liberating to just enjoy myself without worrying about whether or not the person next to me was having a good time. Yann Tiersen was an especially good first choice because most of the concert was instrumental and I found the whole experience somewhat transcendent. I'm not sure I would have allowed myself those feelings if I'd gone with a friend.

After the high of that concert, I made a vow to go see more shows alone. The following summer, I went to see Patti Smith at Battery Park. It was one of the best shows of my life, and I also met some really interesting people I would not have spoken to if I hadn't been alone. Again, my experience was transcendent. It was my first Patti Smith concert in years and I felt like her energy and spirit and poetry recharged my soul. I went to see Patti by myself three or four times after that.

A couple of days ago, I asked myself when the last time I went to a concert alone was, and I was surprised to realize that it's been a really long time. I see Patti every year now (one of the benefits of living in NYC) and 2013 was no exception. But last December, for the first time, I went with a friend. She was the perfect person to see my favorite artist with and I had a great time, so no regrets there. But now I'm wondering why it's been so long since I've gone to an event by myself!

I want to be the kind of person who goes to events alone when she wants to and feels great about it. So I'm once again wondering where to start. I initially thought to go with concerts because that's what I did in college, but I'm actually at a place in life where I want to experience concerts with my friends. (Look at me being all social!) So I decided to go with movies. This really excites me because going to the movies is cheaper than attending a concert so I could potentially turn this into a semi-frequent habit. I could really become someone who goes to the movies a lot! I'm always ashamed of how rarely I go (I went twice in 2012 and once in 2013), so learning how to go alone sounds like a great way to make sure I get out there and see more stuff.

So, to make it official (and to make myself accountable): I hereby vow to go to the movies alone once a month for the next three months. Oh, and independent film screenings count too, of course.

I'm nervous but also excited!

February Reviews

Books

• The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain - I really enjoyed this book and can't believe it took me so long to pick it up. I love Mark Twain's social commentary and overall sense of humor. 
• Blankets by Craig Thompson - I hadn't read a graphic novel in a while, so I was excited to pick this one up. I always appreciate reading about people who had very religious upbringings, because I can totally relate. 
• A Story of Debt by Ashley Riordan - This started off as a blog and was then turned into an e-book. I love reading about people accomplishing their goals, and this story was no exception. It's convinced me that I'm doing the right thing in paying off my student loans as quickly as possible, and it's also inspired me to start budgeting my money. 
• Beloved by Toni Morrison - I loved this so much. Beautiful, heartbreaking, mysterious... just wonderful. I didn't think this would ever happen, but Toni Morrison succeeded in making me love magical realism. Now I want to read everything she has ever written.

Movies 

• Clerks (1994) - Pretty funny. I appreciated it as someone who also works with the public.
• The Avengers (2012) - I'd already watched it but my sister hadn't. Joss Whedon's stuff is always fun. I especially love Robert Downey Jr. in this one.

Facebook Ban! (Sort of.)

So I decided to not post anything on Facebook during the entire month of March. (It feels scary to write it down because now I actually have to follow through with it... even if no one is reading this.)

Anyone who has seen my Facebook page knows this is a big deal for me. I'm pretty private about my personal life on Facebook (much like I am in real life) and I would never dream of sharing mundane details of my daily activities with the whole world, but when I read an interesting article or come across an inspirational quote, all I want to do is tell people. I don't know why that's so important to me, but it is. If I read something that teaches me something new and valuable, or helps me feel less lost or sad or desperate, then I share it, because what if it helps someone else too? I cannot fathom how somebody can keep big discoveries like that to themselves. (No judgement there, I just personally can't resist the temptation and marvel at those who can, or who don't have it at all.)

But I'm starting to wonder if lately I've been using this sharing I do as a way to avoid challenging myself to dig deeper. It's easy to share someone else's words with a simple "I agree!" attached; it's a lot harder to process and analyze those finds critically and then use them to form my own opinions. I need to do more of that, especially since I feel like I constantly have so many thoughts and ideas buzzing around in my head. I need to start practicing the art of organizing my feelings and, more importantly, articulating them. I'm hoping prohibiting myself from posting anything on Facebook will motivate me to write more and get my own thoughts out there for a change. (By "out there" I pretty much just mean this blog. That no one reads. But, you know... baby steps.)

This feels like somewhat of a fake Facebook ban, because I am still planning on checking it every day. I'm only banning myself from posting anything, not from reading what other people post. I kind of wanted to quit completely for the month (or more) just to see what it felt like, but I decided not to for two big reasons. Firstly, I'm looking for a new place to live, and there are certain queer and queer-friendly housing groups on Facebook that are extremely helpful resources at the moment. I'm hopeful I'll figure out my future living situation through one of those groups, so I can't leave Facebook now and potentially miss out on a great housing opportunity.

The other reason is A-CAMP!! I'm finally finally finally going to A-Camp in May and I am 1000% super over the moon excited about this. There's an A-Camp Facebook group for all the people going, and it's just been so much fun for me to read people's posts and experience us slowly getting to know each other via the internet prior to our big gay camping trip. I just can't leave that for a whole month!

In short, I will consider quitting Facebook for an undetermined amount of time after A-Camp and after I have signed a lease somewhere. But definitely not right now.